MENU

「あなたが尊敬する人の特徴は何ですか?」

my sentences

I very respect Ichiro Suzuki who was the greatest MLB baseball player.
The reason why i respect him is that he was continuing his routine and achieved a lot of unbelievable records.
It said that if you want to achieve the great results, you need to continue your effort.
But keep going is as not easy as we think.
There are many pitfalls.
 If we try to make effort, it’s too long to have seeing the results we expect and give up doing.
Looking back,i realized that i had many chances to improve myself, but i gave up and couldn’t come back to trying.
Although Ichiro sometimes had tough times, he could continue his effort. Why could he do like this?i think he integrated his routine into himself. He didn’t think he makes effort, it’s his routine.
So it’s important to make steady progress day by day , and come back to do even if i skip some days. It will eventually pay off

chat gpt

これは今までの中でもかなり良い作文だね。

内容はB2後半に近づいている。一方で、英語らしい表現文法にまだ改善の余地がある。

採点(100点)

項目点数コメント
文法16/20時制・冠詞・動名詞など小さなミスがある
自然さ18/25日本語っぽい表現がまだ残る
チャンク活用20/20とても良い。学んだ表現を自然に使おうとしている
論理性19/20主張→理由→経験→結論が明確
説得力・具体性14/15イチローという具体例が効果的

合計

87/100

これはかなり高い評価。

良かった点

① 論理構成

「尊敬する理由」をただ列挙するのではなく、

  • イチロー
  • 自分の経験
  • 学び

につなげている。

これは英語面接でも評価される話し方。

② 学んだチャンク

自然に使えている。

  • Looking back
  • make steady progress
  • eventually pay off
  • come back

この辺は定着してきた。

修正したいところ

I very respect Ichiro Suzuki

英語では

I really respect Ichiro Suzuki.

または

I have great respect for Ichiro Suzuki.

very respect とは言わない。

who was the greatest MLB baseball player

少し違和感。

自然には

who is one of the greatest baseball players in MLB history.

he was continuing his routine

習慣なので

He kept following his routine.

または

He stuck to his routine. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

こっちが自然。

It said that…

People often say that…

または

There’s a saying that…

keep going is as not easy as we think

However, keeping going isn’t as easy as it sounds. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

これはぜひ覚えて。

it’s too long to have seeing the results we expect

ここは一番直したい。

自然には

It often takes a long time to see the results we expect. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

この形は本当によく使う。

give up doing

文法はOKだけど、

もっと自然なのは

give up

だけ。

または

give up trying.

He could continue his effort.

He kept going.

または

He stuck to his routine.

He didn’t think he makes effort

英語では

He didn’t think of it as hard work.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

これ、かなりネイティブっぽい。

come back to do

come back to it

または

come back to studying

今日追加したいチャンク

チャンク日本語
have respect for(名詞)~を尊敬している
stick to one’s routine自分のルーティンを守る
People often say that…よく言われることだが…
It takes a long time to(動詞)~するには長い時間がかかる
think of A as BAをBだと考える

一番印象に残った文

Looking back, I realized that I had many chances to improve myself, but I gave up and couldn’t come back to trying.

この発想はすごくいい。

ただ、ネイティブならこう言うと思う。

Looking back, I realized that I had many opportunities to improve myself, but I gave up and never came back to it.

この never came back to it はシンプルだけど、とても自然。

よかったらシェアしてね!
  • URLをコピーしました!
  • URLをコピーしました!

この記事を書いた人

目次